5 Reasons Why Seeing a Marriage Counselor is a Good Idea
Marriage intensives are intended to revive a marriage and help a couple through a struggling point of their marriage. Everyone goes through them. Even so, when you are the one struggling, it’s easy to feel alone. You don’t realize that everyone goes through high and low points in their marriage. Or maybe you realize it but you don’t think that you should have to go through such a low point. But that’s what marriage intensives and couples therapy is for. Here are a few of the reasons why you and your partner should decide to give couples counseling a try.
It’s a Chance to Open Up
After you have been married awhile, it can get harder to open up. Maybe the kids are always around and you don’t have any one on one time with your husband. Or perhaps the only time you’d have to talk is after work and you’re just too tired to do so. Or maybe you think that you shouldn’t have to and your spouse should be able to read you by now. Marriage counseling provides a safe environment where you can really say what is on your mind and your spouse can do the same. It might end in a fight but it could sort out some issues that are stirring beneath the surface.
There are Limited Distractions
At home there’s the kids that need attention, the television that’s blaring, the cell phone ringing, the play station running, dinner needing to be made, floors needing vacuuming, errands to run; there’s so many distractions from each other. It’s hard to really focus on one another without being interrupted at one point or another. Even if you start talking, you are bound to end up caught up in something else and nothing ever gets sorted out. A quiet room where it’s just you, your partner and the therapist is the perfect environment to concentrate on one thing: your marriage.
It Shows You are Trying
If you had given up and were done with the marriage, you wouldn’t be sitting through counselling and neither would your spouse. The fact that both of you are there should give each of you hope that you both want the marriage to work. Even if that feels like the only thing that you have in common, it’s a start. It shows that you are willing to put in the effort and the work to make your marriage come back together.
It Gets to the Bottom of the Issue
Often times, the issues isn’t the issue. You might be fighting because she asked him to take the trash out and he’s laying on the couch playing a video game instead. However, the underlying issue could be that she feels like he doesn’t help out around the house or that he feels like she asks too much of him. All of these things can be gotten to the bottom of when you have time to talk and to listen.
It Provides a Mediator
Many times your fights just need someone to step in and halt things when necessary. If you are getting too angry or too emotional, you might need to take a break. That’s when you say things that you regret and your spouse never gets over it. Having a person in the middle to be objective and unbiased could be just what you need in your marriage intensives.
Chances are, when you said “I Do” you weren’t expecting to end up in a marriage intensives type of situation. However, that doesn’t mean that you are any less in love or less committed than you were on that day. It’s just two people trying to learn how to compromise and live together in a civilized manner. That’s what they mean when they say love is a choice. If you wake up every day and decide to be happy and have a good day and love your spouse, you are living intentionally. You’ll be surprised and what a difference it can make to your life and to your relationship with your spouse when you begin each day like this. Just try it out for a few sessions and see if it doesn’t make a huge difference.